Singles Have Lives, Too

Dec. 23, 2008 — A friend just shared with me her outrage over Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell’s initial reaction to the news of Janet Napolitano’s appointment to head the Department of Homeland Security. The Pennsylvania governor’s endorsement included the observation that Napolitano will be an especially good candidate because she is single, which he interpreted to mean that she will devote many extra hours to the job because she obviously doesn’t have a life. Ouch!

A few days after Rendell’s remark, I was intrigued by a TV interview with Bella DePaulo, the social scientist who wrote Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She had a number of interesting things to say, underscoring the new reality that married people are now in the minority in American society. Dr. DePaulo observed that “being single isn’t a transitional state anymore.” She also introduced the term “singlism” (the stereotyping and stigmatizing of people who are single). She cites research that contradicts the common perception that single people must be miserable, lonely, less healthy and doomed to shorter lives than married people. I can’t speak to the veracity of the data, but I do have two observations to make about the interaction between single people and the work-life function in today’s workplace.  

First, a well-designed and implemented work-life portfolio provides support for everyone’s life events, not just married people with children. If that’s not the case at your place of employment, then step forward to help ensure equity of outreach, because everyone has a life to manage. Be sure to check out all seven categories of work-life support for ideas about some easy, low-cost options that might be highly valued by a variety of constituencies.  

The second fact about work-life support is the persistence of a “halo” effect. By that I’m referring to the finding in multiple research studies that it is not only the people who actively participate in work-life programs who measurably benefit from them. Non-users also report higher levels of satisfaction, engagement, likelihood of describing their employer as a great place to work, referring others to work there, etc. So it is not unheard of for singles to feel good about their employer offering support for child care even though they are not themselves current users. Of course, this dynamic can be expected to evaporate in the face of outright discrimination against singles. Achieving a properly balanced work-life portfolio that meets the needs of the entire workforce is precisely the expertise that the work-life professional brings to the table.

Meanwhile, remember that half of the population is single, so beware of adding insult to injury by jumping to unwarranted conclusions about anyone else’s life.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of WorldatWork and its affiliate, Alliance for Work-Life Progress (AWLP).